Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher – Book Summary
Wishcraft by Barbara Sher is a motivational classic that helps readers bridge the gap between dreams and reality. First published in 1979, this empowering guide teaches how to identify your true desires, break free from societal limits, and build a supportive path to achieve what you really want. It’s a practical, compassionate roadmap for reclaiming your life’s purpose.
Who May Benefit from the Book
- Dreamers stuck in unfulfilling careers or routines
- Creative individuals seeking clarity on their passions
- Adults looking to reconnect with childhood ambitions
- Coaches, counselors, or mentors guiding others
- Anyone wanting to design a life with meaning and joy
Top 3 Key Insights
- Childhood passions are clues to your true purpose.
- You need a nurturing environment to thrive.
- Personal style reveals deep truths about who you are.
4 More Lessons and Takeaways
- Goal Clarity Matters: Dreams remain fantasies unless turned into specific, measurable goals with a timeline.
- Negative Feelings Hold Clues: Venting helps release hidden fears and clears space for solutions.
- Community Support is Power: Sharing goals and asking for help can make dreams achievable.
- Time is Moldable: You can design your day to reflect your real priorities and values.
The Book in 1 Sentence
Reconnect with your true self, set clear goals, and build a support system to create the life you really want.
The Book Summary in 1 Minute
Barbara Sher’s Wishcraft explores how your childhood dreams hold powerful insight into your adult potential. It explains how to reconnect with those early passions, set specific goals, and surround yourself with a nurturing environment. Sher emphasizes personal style as a reflection of your unique identity and teaches techniques like goal-setting, brainstorming, journaling, and time management. She encourages turning negative thoughts into useful tools and harnessing community support for growth. The book is part self-help, part life coaching, giving you practical steps to turn your wishes into reality—without relying on hype or mystical thinking.
The Book Summary in 7 Minutes
What makes a life truly fulfilling? According to Barbara Sher, it begins with discovering who you were before the world told you who to be. Wishcraft offers practical advice to help readers reconnect with their authentic selves and build a life they actually want—not one shaped by fear or social pressure.
Rediscover Your Childhood Genius
Your deepest wishes are not random. They are signs of your innate potential. Sher urges readers to revisit childhood memories, favorite games, and hidden daydreams. These fragments reveal passions and talents often buried under adult responsibilities. Think of childhood as a treasure map: it holds clues about who you are and what makes you feel alive.
To unlock this map, reflect on:
- What activities brought you joy?
- Which senses did you rely on most?
- What did you love doing when no one was watching?
The goal is to reverse “amnesia” caused by adult life and reclaim the joy and purpose you felt as a child.
Build a Nurturing Environment
Just like seeds need sun and soil, people need support. Many people fail not because they lack talent but because they lacked encouragement. Sher defines a nurturing environment as one where you’re treated as though your dreams matter.
Qualities of such an environment include:
| Nurturing Traits | Description |
|---|---|
| Belief in Your Genius | You’re seen as special and talented |
| Encouragement | People help you explore and develop your interests |
| Emotional Support | You’re allowed to complain and still receive help |
| Community Wins | Those around you celebrate your success |
If you didn’t grow up with this, create it now. Choose friends, mentors, or groups that offer emotional and practical support.
Use Style as a Clue to Your Identity
Sher introduces a unique method called StyleSearch. It involves examining your preferences in clothes, decor, music, and even books. These preferences are not random—they reflect your values and hidden identity.
Treat your room, wardrobe, and hobbies like a detective scene. What patterns do you notice? Do your surroundings reflect who you are or who you think you’re supposed to be?
The takeaway? Your style choices are not shallow. They’re a tool for self-discovery. Celebrate what makes you different.
Turn Dreams into Concrete Goals
Sher emphasizes that goals are the “basic units of life design.” Unlike dreams, goals are measurable, actionable, and time-bound.
Two rules of goal-setting:
- A goal is based on facts, not feelings.
- Saying “this is what I want” must mean you’re serious.
She advises identifying a touchstone (the emotion behind your goal) and a role model (someone who has achieved what you want). These elements help shape realistic and personal goals. Also, remember you can always revise a goal—it’s not a lifetime contract.
Use Negative Thinking Productively
Positive thinking alone won’t solve your problems. Sher suggests embracing your fears, doubts, and anger. Venting is not weakness—it’s a release.
One tool is the “Yes-But” game. If you find yourself rejecting every idea with “yes, but…,” it’s time to dig into the emotional roots of your resistance. Use journaling to track your emotions and actions. Over time, this builds awareness and progress.
Creative Problem Solving Through Brainstorming
Sher introduces a two-part brainstorming method:
- Woolgathering: List all ideas, no matter how silly.
- Bridge-Building: Pick the best ideas and make a plan.
You can also role-play as different characters to see the problem from fresh angles. Creativity often blooms when judgment is suspended.
Mobilize Your Community
Success isn’t a solo act. Sher encourages a concept she calls Barn-Raising—a structured way to gather help from friends, colleagues, and mentors.
Use principles like:
- Mutuality: Give and receive help equally.
- The Right to Say No: Don’t force participation.
- Networking: Treat it like an “old-boy” network—only more inclusive and supportive.
By sharing your needs and asking others how you can help them too, you create a win-win ecosystem.
Master Time Management
Time is not your enemy—it’s a resource. Sher urges readers to design an “ideal day” filled with fulfilling tasks and supportive people. Then integrate elements of that day into your real life.
Use tools like:
- A Planning Wall with flowcharts and calendars
- Weekly goal tracking
- Time audits to eliminate useless tasks
Structure gives you control and clarity.
Face Fear with Strategy
Fear is not a sign to quit. It’s a sign that you care. Sher distinguishes between stage fright (manageable nerves) and survival fear (deeper anxieties). Both can be handled with preparation and kindness.
Use this checklist:
- Prepare well
- Lower your standards (done is better than perfect)
- Be kind to yourself
- Don’t go it alone—ask for help
About the Author
Barbara Sher was a career counselor, motivational speaker, and author known for her warm and practical approach to life planning. She spent decades helping people clarify their dreams and create actionable plans. Her other bestsellers include I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was and Refuse to Choose! Sher’s work has influenced thousands of readers and remains relevant in today’s chaotic world. Her message is simple yet powerful: your dreams matter, and there is a way to make them real.
How to Get the Best of the Book
Read the book with a journal nearby. Use each chapter’s exercises to reflect and plan. Apply the tools slowly and revisit them as your goals evolve.
Conclusion
Wishcraft is more than a self-help book—it’s a practical toolkit for building a life aligned with your true desires. It encourages deep reflection, goal clarity, and community support. If you’re ready to stop wishing and start crafting your future, this book offers a roadmap.