The Blindspots Between Us by Gleb Tsipursky

The Blindspots Between Us: How to Overcome Unconscious Cognitive Bias and Build Better Relationships by Gleb Tsipursky explores how cognitive biases affect our relationships and decision-making. The book explains why we often misjudge others’ actions and offers practical strategies to address these biases. Tsipursky provides research-backed insights to help readers communicate better, build stronger relationships, and make more rational decisions.

Who May Benefit from the Book

• Business professionals – Improve decision-making and workplace communication.
• Psychology enthusiasts – Understand the science behind cognitive biases.
• Leaders and managers – Build more effective and empathetic teams.
• Relationship seekers – Develop stronger personal connections.
• Educators and coaches – Teach others how to overcome biases.
• Students – Enhance critical thinking and emotional intelligence.
• Anyone facing relationship conflicts – Learn to manage disagreements more effectively.

Top 3 Key Insights

1. Our brains have two systems: autopilot and intentional
   The autopilot system handles fast, emotional responses but often leads to biases. The intentional system requires effort but allows logical thinking and better decisions.
2. Cognitive biases are predictable mental errors
   These biases distort our judgment, leading to poor decisions and relationship issues. Techniques like reflection and seeking external perspectives help correct them.
3. We misattribute behaviors to personality rather than context
   The fundamental attribution error makes us blame personality instead of situational factors. Recognizing context improves understanding and reduces conflicts.

7 More Lessons and Takeaways

1. Most people overestimate their positive qualities
   Illusory superiority makes people overestimate their skills and traits, leading to overconfidence and poor decisions.
2. Tribalism leads to discrimination
   Favoring one’s group while excluding others causes prejudice and conflict. Seeking diverse perspectives helps combat this.
3. Communication often fails due to mental blindspots
   Transparency illusion and false consensus effect cause misunderstandings. Clear language and feedback improve communication.
4. Empathy gaps cause emotional misjudgments
   Misunderstanding emotional states affects decisions and relationships. Mindfulness and perspective-taking reduce this gap.
5. Pessimism and optimism distort reality
   Overconfidence or fear skews decisions. Balanced thinking leads to better choices.
6. Reactance and authority bias affect influence
   Resisting control and trusting authority blindly lead to poor outcomes. Rational thinking balances these effects.
7. EGRIP helps challenge irrational beliefs
   The EGRIP method (Emotions, Goals, Rapport, Information, Positive reinforcement) improves belief-changing conversations.

The Book in 1 Sentence

The Blindspots Between Us reveals how cognitive biases affect our relationships and provides tools to improve understanding.

The Book Summary in 1 Minute

Gleb Tsipursky explains how cognitive biases distort our judgment and damage relationships. He describes two mental systems: the fast, emotional autopilot and the slower, logical intentional system. Biases like the fundamental attribution error, illusory superiority, and empathy gaps create misunderstandings and conflicts. Tsipursky offers strategies like reflection, perspective-taking, and the EGRIP method to challenge biases and improve relationships. Understanding these mental blindspots leads to better communication and decision-making.

The Book Summary in 10 Minutes

How Our Brain’s Two Systems Work

Our brain operates through two systems:

• Autopilot System – Fast, emotional, and intuitive. Handles quick decisions and fight-or-flight responses.
• Intentional System – Slow, logical, and effort-based. Used for complex decisions and problem-solving.

Autopilot responses helped early humans survive but are less useful in modern life. Misusing autopilot thinking leads to cognitive biases.

Cognitive Biases and Their Effects

Mental blindspots – Biases are systematic errors in thinking. They affect personal and professional relationships.

Bias	Description	Consequences	Correction Strategy
Fundamental Attribution Error	Attributing others’ actions to personality rather than context	Misunderstanding and conflict	Consider situational factors before judging
Illusory Superiority	Overestimating one’s abilities and traits	Overconfidence and strained relationships	Seek honest feedback and practice humility
In-Group Favoritism	Preferring one’s group over others	Prejudice and stereotyping	Engage with diverse groups and perspectives
Empathy Gap	Misjudging emotional states in oneself and others	Poor decision-making and conflicts	Use mindfulness and delay decisions during emotional states
Reactance	Resisting perceived threats to freedom	Rejection of helpful advice	Evaluate influence attempts rationally
Authority Bias	Over-relying on authority figures’ opinions	Blind obedience and poor decisions	Evaluate information independently

How to Overcome Cognitive Biases

Tsipursky suggests practical methods to combat biases:

• Delay decisions – Avoid snap judgments by taking time to reflect.
• Use probabilistic thinking – Assess outcomes based on likelihood, not gut feeling.
• Challenge assumptions – Seek alternative explanations and viewpoints.
• Practice empathy – Consider the emotional state of others before reacting.

EGRIP Strategy for Changing Beliefs

The EGRIP method helps address irrational beliefs:

• Emotions – Understand the emotional triggers behind a belief.
• Goals – Establish common goals to create alignment.
• Rapport – Build trust before challenging beliefs.
• Information – Present facts in a non-threatening manner.
• Positive Reinforcement – Encourage small changes rather than forcing a shift.

The Impact of Cognitive Biases on Relationships

Biases affect how we communicate and interpret others’ actions:

• Transparency illusion – Assuming others understand our thoughts.
• Curse of knowledge – Difficulty explaining familiar concepts to others.
• False consensus effect – Believing others agree with us more than they do.

How to Improve Communication

• Active listening – Focus fully on the speaker and ask clarifying questions.
• Simple language – Avoid complex terms and jargon.
• Seek feedback – Confirm understanding before assuming agreement.
• Be open to disagreement – Respect different perspectives and adjust when needed.

Overcoming Tribalism and Building Trust

Tribalism creates “us vs. them” thinking, fueling conflicts. Solutions include:

• Recognize biases – Acknowledge group-based preferences.
• Build cross-group relationships – Seek common ground with different groups.
• Challenge stereotypes – Question assumptions about others’ identities.

Emotional Bias and Decision-Making

Emotions heavily influence decisions:

• Optimism bias – Overconfidence in outcomes.
• Pessimism bias – Expecting failure or setbacks.

Balanced thinking improves outcomes. Tsipursky recommends using past experiences and data to guide decisions.

About the Author

Gleb Tsipursky is a cognitive scientist, author, and consultant specializing in decision-making and relationships. He holds a PhD in behavioral science and has written extensively on overcoming biases and improving communication. Tsipursky founded Disaster Avoidance Experts, helping businesses and individuals make better decisions.

How to Get the Best of the Book

Read actively and apply the strategies to real-life situations. Identify biases affecting your decisions and relationships. Practice empathy, reflection, and open communication. Use the EGRIP method to challenge irrational beliefs.

Conclusion

The Blindspots Between Us explains how cognitive biases distort judgment and relationships. Tsipursky offers practical tools to recognize and overcome these mental blindspots. Understanding these patterns helps strengthen communication, improve decision-making, and build healthier relationships.